When I moved out, my ex redecorated comprehensively. I had removed 90% of my library from the house, so it made sense. She also bought new blinds, and had the place painted from top to bottom.
Today, my almost 6 year-old son told me he wanted to go home. I suggested to him that he only thought that because Daddy was too strict. After some thought he replied along these lines:
"No, it's just you have too many books."
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"There are too many books. Your flat is too cluttered. The blinds aren't right. The sofa is too big. And there are books everywhere."
Evidently my son has become too much of an interior designer to want to stay in my flat.
It's right about now that I start thinking of paternity tests.